Today I was enjoying some quality time with my mom and I begin to ask her questions about my childhood. Unsurprisingly she shared with me that even as a young child, I was in tuned with my emotions and a roundabout way of being myself. Throughout life I have experienced some pretty traumatic events for me. From sicknesses, to heartache, I've pretty went through the ringer! I am now understanding myself more and more each day. With every new opportunity, one thing I pride myself in is the amount of love I continuously give people.
While it may have been difficult to get through a breakup or through the emancipation of a friendship, I somehow find myself apologizing first and being willing to makeup because I like to love. I always thought being in love was some magical moment and then when I was in it I would just have this ultimate epiphany. I would have all of these great memories of me and my significant other, but I now know that I've been in love for a very long time and I am in love with loving.
One thing that allows me to seek the face of God, being as faulty as I can be, is the fact that I refuse to hold anymore grudges and not forgive. I may come short on a lot of things but I take love by the horns and embrace it. With the amount of times I've been hurt you would think that I would give up on hoping that I could one day God will send the man I'm meant to have, but I know that it is possible for me fall in love. Sure, I am much more careful as to who I give my love to, but I refuse to believe that it's over for me.
From this point on, I am willing to love beyond myself. I am willing to love beyond pain and pleasure. I am willing to love beyond financial circumstances. I am willing to love those who do not want it. I am willing to love those who thought they were unlovable. I am willing to love that which I can change. And I am willing to love what I cannot change.
Be strong. Be ready.
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