Now, if I would have lost my job because of the economy I would probably be just as sad but because I lost my job due to controversy then obviously i am much more irritated, hurt, sad, annoyed, angry and every other feeling and emotion that comes in this hot mess of a situation.
Long story short one of my employees was expecting and I didn't report to my supervisors that she was preggers. Silly me, thinking that people have the right to their own business! psh! smh! But anyways my parents allowed me to come back home until I can find somewhere to live. I worked where I lived. I don't want to specify what my job title was, but if you read enough of my post and you're familiar with higher ed, you can put two and two together. Anywho, that left me in a hot mess of a pickle.
Thoughts such as "OMG! It's probably not even that bad..." are probably wondering around in some of your heads, but you have to know me and understand how important planning and organization is to me.
I love my family and I am so very thankful that there are there to cushion me when I need to come home, but living in a house of three adults and two teenagers and an overly anxious (who barks incessantly) Pomeranian is not the most ideal. Not to mention the gargantuan amount of stuff I have does not fit in my parents house. I love being organized. I love being in a routine and all of that has been thrown to the wolves. Now those who have been privi to my situation have offered words of encouragement such as "Oh, it will get better." or "Erica, you're such a good person, I know things will turn around." While those words are appreciated it still hurts and it still sucks. I am a 23 year old woman, in graduate school, living out of multiple suitcases and sleeping on an air mattress.
One suggestion I offered to those who I discussed options with was leaving school for a while to pursue a full time job. The amount of negative feedback from this was absurd. Some were suggesting that should I not finish graduate school I wouldn't have a successful life. Uh! I'm not sure if you knew, but in order to get into graduate school you have to have a BACHELOR's DEGREE! Now I completely understand that times are hard and a Bachelor's is seen to be like a high school diploma. And I also understand that giving up is not typically my thing, especially when it comes to school. But gee whiz! I need to work! I need money! I thrive off of money (and shop a lot!)! Many of the people I know that did go back to live with their family after graduating from college don't have younger siblings or don't care, uh... I DO!
"I thought her posts were here to offer suggestions". Well, when I first started writing this, I was thinking " I don't have any hope to give, I was just writing this to release some steam" but now that I am seeing some sort of light from somewhere, I know that there are ways we can get through these situations.
1. Emotional perspiration-- It's okay to cry! In a previous post I talked about not making a pity party for yourself, but at some point in time, it is okay to cry, but you have to understand that crying can only serve as a tool when you know that after you finish crying you still have to pick up the pieces. In many instances I want to cry but I sometimes tell myself what's the point in crying it won't solve anything, but how wrong was I. Find yourself a good spot alone where you can cry your soul out and be done for the day or for the next few days. Don't make crying such a habitual thing that you find yourself getting headaches over it.
2. Find a friend that will SHUT YOU UP! I have been fortunate enough to have wonderful friends that are incredibly encouraging. I have have been fortunate enough to have wonderful friends that will open up their houses for me to live in. I have been incredibly fortunate enough to have friends that will pray you through some stuff. But I have been fortunate enough to have friends to tell me to "suck it up and deal with it!" and sometimes I have to be that friend for myself. One of my friends called me and said, "I can only imagine what you're going through but we're going to talk about it once, pray and it's over!" That conversation gave me the fortitude to yearn for resilience.
3. Do things that will keep your mind off it. For example, there was no better time for this to happen than for me to be in summer school. When my life is running a muck, staying busy is the best thing I can do sometimes to keep from sulking. When you don't have anything else going on in your life, it allows time to creep in and you start thinking about the most outlandish things and then you will find yourself in a depression. So keep busy!
4. Find something to love. Some would say somebody to love, but I will say something, because people are just as consistent as the weather and a new reality tv show! Fall in love with something. This year one of my goals was to fall in love. As a girl would, I expected it to be with one person, but instead it was a job! Teaching music was one of the most INSPIRING things I could have ever done in my life. Even though I had to wake up at 5am and typically wouldn't go to sleep uptil 1am, I loved every moment of being with my student. I loved the challenges it presented! I love the drama! I loved the frustration! I loved it all! And the best part is that music did what it does best and that is help others to see the best in all circumstances. Now that the year is over I have kept into contact with many of my students who remind me of my purpose in life!
5. It's darkest RIGHT BEFORE DAWN. I could wallow in sorrow for the next few weeks but I won't because I know that it will not always be this way. I am a pretty cool person and I think I have quite a bit to offer the world. I've never been confident in myself but I am confident in my faith. I know that God didn't bring me all the way through 23 years with some of the most ridonkulous situations to just drop me off in the middle of this mess. Sure, it's WAY easier said than done. But it's so much more doable than death. Will there be some days when I would rather be in my own space? Will there be some days when I would love to see the choices I have when it comes to clothes? Will there be some days when I want to just sit in the middle of my air mattress and cry? HECK YES! But did it get better the last time? Yup. Will it get better again? YUP!
So, I know many of you will not read through this whole thing, so me writing this is much more cathartic for me than anything. I encourage you to be ready and be brave. The end is much closer than the beginning.
Be ready. Be strong.
What happened doesn't sound right, though I obviously don't know the details. I hope you are dealing with it in the most healthy way for you, and that you stand up for yourself and your rights if that is something you'd like to do. There can be recourse for wrongful termination; this is a right to work state.
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, I hope you will take this as an OPPORTUNITY instead of as a set back. Sometimes things change in unexpected ways that provide a different perspective and different opportunities. Perhaps it is time to either change focus or re-focus. The grad school program we're in is an option with a 5 year window (that can sometimes be extended also!), so if you're unsure you don't have to decide right away. Maybe there's something you wanted to do or to try that you couldn't before because of so many responsibilities. Your family and friends can provide support and suggestions, but I imagine the answer is within. Take some time to let it incubate and hatch. Open your mind to the possibilities; they are infinite.
Best of luck! I'm sure you'll keep us updated!